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Dialogue : Fautes à corriger
Message de lvx posté le 10-11-2007 à 12:18:03 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, puis-je vous demander de corriger les fautes et les constructions maladroites présentes dans ce dialogue?
Merci d'avance.
- Jane, the Brian's mother, was working when the phone rang. She picked up the receiver. -
Jane : Darling, I've tried to phone to you, but you were busy !
Banks : Yes, I spoke with Brian
J : Ho ! He doesn't want to (répondre au téléphone = call at phone?). Is it time his exam results are out !
B : I know and that's why I phone to you.
- Silence. Jane was anxious -
J : Say me ! Say me ! What happens?
B : Well .. Brian got a third-class degree.
J : What?! My Brian?! - She sobed - But.. Why?! What happened?
B : He said he has an other plan for the future. He'd like to be musician with his band. He has friends who have a studio, who could make a demo of some of his songs. He's passionated and you know where come his passion..
J : Banks ! Yes I know but it's so dangerous this business for him. I'm so scared.
B : Well, Jane, you know when I was 20, my dream was to play guitar with my group in the world. We had so many contacts with studios, producers.. We had future for us. But my parents, who thought I need a good degree before, had refused. And, 30 years later, I remember..
I think we are duty-bound to live our dreams, and not to dream our life.
- The phone ring, Brian phone to his mother. -
Message de lvx posté le 10-11-2007 à 12:18:03 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour, puis-je vous demander de corriger les fautes et les constructions maladroites présentes dans ce dialogue?
Merci d'avance.
- Jane, the Brian's mother, was working when the phone rang. She picked up the receiver. -
Jane : Darling, I've tried to phone to you, but you were busy !
Banks : Yes, I spoke with Brian
J : Ho ! He doesn't want to (répondre au téléphone = call at phone?). Is it time his exam results are out !
B : I know and that's why I phone to you.
- Silence. Jane was anxious -
J : Say me ! Say me ! What happens?
B : Well .. Brian got a third-class degree.
J : What?! My Brian?! - She sobed - But.. Why?! What happened?
B : He said he has an other plan for the future. He'd like to be musician with his band. He has friends who have a studio, who could make a demo of some of his songs. He's passionated and you know where come his passion..
J : Banks ! Yes I know but it's so dangerous this business for him. I'm so scared.
B : Well, Jane, you know when I was 20, my dream was to play guitar with my group in the world. We had so many contacts with studios, producers.. We had future for us. But my parents, who thought I need a good degree before, had refused. And, 30 years later, I remember..
I think we are duty-bound to live our dreams, and not to dream our life.
- The phone ring, Brian phone to his mother. -
Réponse: Dialogue : Fautes à corriger de lvx, postée le 11-11-2007 à 16:39:22 (S | E)
Pas de réponse?
Réponse: Dialogue : Fautes à corriger de mariebru, postée le 11-11-2007 à 16:50:45 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Il faut laisser un peu de temps : c'est dimanche pour tout le monde !
Je pense qu'on viendra t'aider, mais d'une manière générale, il faut poster vos demandes le plus tôt possible et pas la veille de sa remise.
Réponse: Dialogue : Fautes à corriger de violet91, postée le 11-11-2007 à 18:37:15 (S | E)
Bonjour..en effet,il ne faudrait pas s'y prendre au dernier moment..-Pas d'article devt un prénom génitif.
-to phone :v.transitif (cod)
-to answer:idem.
-Toute actualisation (en ce moment):prést continu:forme be+ ing.
-to say (dire ,réciter)#to tell (raconter,dire)(v.transitif +cod)
-Temps du bilan et constat:present perfect:to have +p.passé
-To sob:v.monosyllabique bref=to stop=stopped,stopping.
-Style indirect:pas d'interversion du sujet I asked him where he was going to.
-Si plusieurs personnes parlent..elles sont plusieurs à vivre:life devient pluriel.
-3ème pers.sg prest simple :"S "ou" ES" à la base verbale. C'est sinon une faute énorme qui coûte au moins 4 points. Sinon,si "actualisation":en ce moment sous vos yeux,à vos oreilles et constat d'une action en déroulement BE +ING.Y compris ave le verbe .Ëtre :Fais -tu l'imbécile? Are you being silly?..
Voilà de quoi plancher un peu mieux. Goog luck.
