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Correction: Essay
Message de arrow posté le 19-11-2007 à 19:52:40
Hi everybody
J'ai eu un essai à faire à partir de la citation d'un auteur dans un magazine, au sujet de l'expansion de la culture américaine. L'auteur qualifie les Etats-Unis de grande puissance culturelle, mais utilise également ces mots " cultural imperialism". J'ai saisi le terme d'impérialisme comme le fait que les EU désirent étendre leur culture à travers le monde.
Essay:
A topic that is often debated nowadays is that of the american culture expansion. Especially since the Second World War, the US has become one of the most influential country in the world, and the american way of life is widespread. Some people consider it as a danger, because it seems threatening for their own traditions. This problem brings us to the question of whether it exists a kind of american « cultural imperialism » as the author puts it in his article.
Who has never heard talking about a country where freedom and democracy were the main values and where everything was possible ? America is known to be a young country and the vision of the US as an « Eldorado » is not totally disappeared in a lot of minds. Indeed, Hollywood Studios still make dream a lot of young people and american culture is spread around the world. Actually when we watch TV or eat at a fast-food, America is not as far as we could think. Let us take the example of music. A lot of young people appreciate to listen american music, because they find it more modern and the artists ( who are often young too) have the same vision of the world.
However, this globalization of american culture appears like threatening for some people who want to protect their own. Indeed, America is sometimes described as « imperialist », because it wants to spread its way of life all around the world ( That's why Ian Ralston uses the term of « cultural imperialism » in his article). These people want to assert their's identity so as not to forget that they exist too. Actually, whitout commons language, values, culture, a nation couldn't lived.
The most sensible conclusion we can come to is that the young and the old must listen to each other. People don't have to forget their roots, but they can easily discover another culture. At the time of globalization, the task seems however to be a bit more difficult.
Voilà, je suppose qu'il doit y avoir pas mal d'expressions lourdes, ainsi que des fautes de grammaire, c'est pourquoi j'aimerai svp que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon essai;
Merci d'avance ;)
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Modifié par arrow le 19-11-2007 21:43
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2009 22:09
Message de arrow posté le 19-11-2007 à 19:52:40
Hi everybody
J'ai eu un essai à faire à partir de la citation d'un auteur dans un magazine, au sujet de l'expansion de la culture américaine. L'auteur qualifie les Etats-Unis de grande puissance culturelle, mais utilise également ces mots " cultural imperialism". J'ai saisi le terme d'impérialisme comme le fait que les EU désirent étendre leur culture à travers le monde.
Essay:
A topic that is often debated nowadays is that of the american culture expansion. Especially since the Second World War, the US has become one of the most influential country in the world, and the american way of life is widespread. Some people consider it as a danger, because it seems threatening for their own traditions. This problem brings us to the question of whether it exists a kind of american « cultural imperialism » as the author puts it in his article.
Who has never heard talking about a country where freedom and democracy were the main values and where everything was possible ? America is known to be a young country and the vision of the US as an « Eldorado » is not totally disappeared in a lot of minds. Indeed, Hollywood Studios still make dream a lot of young people and american culture is spread around the world. Actually when we watch TV or eat at a fast-food, America is not as far as we could think. Let us take the example of music. A lot of young people appreciate to listen american music, because they find it more modern and the artists ( who are often young too) have the same vision of the world.
However, this globalization of american culture appears like threatening for some people who want to protect their own. Indeed, America is sometimes described as « imperialist », because it wants to spread its way of life all around the world ( That's why Ian Ralston uses the term of « cultural imperialism » in his article). These people want to assert their's identity so as not to forget that they exist too. Actually, whitout commons language, values, culture, a nation couldn't lived.
The most sensible conclusion we can come to is that the young and the old must listen to each other. People don't have to forget their roots, but they can easily discover another culture. At the time of globalization, the task seems however to be a bit more difficult.
Voilà, je suppose qu'il doit y avoir pas mal d'expressions lourdes, ainsi que des fautes de grammaire, c'est pourquoi j'aimerai svp que vous m'aidiez à corriger mon essai;
Merci d'avance ;)
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Modifié par arrow le 19-11-2007 21:43
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2009 22:09
Réponse: Correction: Essay de TravisKidd, postée le 19-11-2007 à 22:45:17
Pas mal du tout
- "the expansion of American culture" ou bien "the cultural expansion of America" ("American cultural expansion" est un peu vague.)
- one of the most influential country (tu veux un pluriel)
- consider it (as) a danger ("as" n'est pas faux mais pas nécessaire)
- whether there exists
- Who has never heard about
- has not totally disappeared
- Hollywood still makes a lot of young people dream
- A fast-food restaurant
- as we might think
- appreciate listening
- appears
- their identity ("their" is already the genitive, no 's)
- without a common language
- couldn't live (ou bien, couldn't have lived)
- During this time of globalization
Réponse: Correction: Essay de arrow, postée le 19-11-2007 à 22:52:51
Thank you for your help TravisKidd.
What do you think about my expression ? I mean it's not too "heavy" in English ?
Bye
Réponse: Correction: Essay de TravisKidd, postée le 19-11-2007 à 23:12:41
No it's not heavy at all; in fact it's quite good, especially for a non-native speaker!
