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Message de hasnacha posté le 13-11-2008 à 21:03:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai beaucoup de mal en anglais (place des mots, grammaire,...), pouvez vous me dire s'il vous plait si j'ai fais des fautes, merci beaucoup
One day in a very quiet town, a young girl lived something unimaginable. This day, this young girl who had just his school back home by she.
Like all the time, she began by taking his snack while watching TV. A few hours later she was in her room to work to do homework.
Later, after finishing his homework she starts to read some books. Their parents returning from work, she rushes to see.
It is time for dinner, the family is complete with father, mother, brother and young daughter.
After diner, the family goes to bed to resume again the next day a new day full of experience.
The girl is sleeping deeply, and then suddenly for reasons unknown suddenlyshe gets up and noticed a very particular person who stands before it. This person had red hair, very short, a red nose, clothing yellow and white and red shoes, it is called "clown"
But the most frightening is that the girl looked fixedly and right in the eye. At the same time he smiled. He had his legs crossed and saw it as if it were in the air and in front of her. For fear she began screaming and his parents come to see it coming. Frightened the girl crying and took refuge near his parents. The girl wondered: is this an illusion that I had? is what I dreamed?
merci encore!
Message de hasnacha posté le 13-11-2008 à 21:03:41 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai beaucoup de mal en anglais (place des mots, grammaire,...), pouvez vous me dire s'il vous plait si j'ai fais des fautes, merci beaucoup
One day in a very quiet town, a young girl lived something unimaginable. This day, this young girl who had just his school back home by she.
Like all the time, she began by taking his snack while watching TV. A few hours later she was in her room to work to do homework.
Later, after finishing his homework she starts to read some books. Their parents returning from work, she rushes to see.
It is time for dinner, the family is complete with father, mother, brother and young daughter.
After diner, the family goes to bed to resume again the next day a new day full of experience.
The girl is sleeping deeply, and then suddenly for reasons unknown suddenlyshe gets up and noticed a very particular person who stands before it. This person had red hair, very short, a red nose, clothing yellow and white and red shoes, it is called "clown"
But the most frightening is that the girl looked fixedly and right in the eye. At the same time he smiled. He had his legs crossed and saw it as if it were in the air and in front of her. For fear she began screaming and his parents come to see it coming. Frightened the girl crying and took refuge near his parents. The girl wondered: is this an illusion that I had? is what I dreamed?
merci encore!
Réponse: Redaction de bridg, postée le 13-11-2008 à 21:12:21 (S | E)
Bonjour.
Il semble impossible de vous corriger. Tout est à revoir, je suis désolée
Bon courage
Réponse: Redaction de hasnacha, postée le 14-11-2008 à 00:00:46 (S | E)
d'accord, je fais trop de mot à mot...mais autrement je n'y arrive pas
Réponse: Redaction de brettdallen, postée le 14-11-2008 à 00:10:48 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Il y a de nombreuses fautes, c'est vrai, mais vous avez quand même des connaissances. Ce que vous avez produit n'est pas d'un niveau débutant.
Commencez par revoir vos adjectifs possessifs(moi, je dis "déterminants")(donc:my, your, his, her, its, our, your, their) et cela sera moins choquant!
Ensuite, respectez le temps de votre histoire! Present simple? past simple? on ne mélange pas tout, à moins de faire de réels aller-retours entre "généralités atemporelles" et évocation d'événements révolus..
Corrigez vous en tenant compte de cela et vous gagnez des points! Si, Si!
