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celebrities / correction
Message de jojok10 posté le 21-01-2009 à 17:11:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai une petite dissertation à faire en anglais et j'aimerais savoir si on peut me la corriger? J'ai essayé de faire le moins de fautes possibles, j'espère qu'une personne acceptera!
Voici mon texte:
Many celebrities have become active in raising awareness and funds for humanitarian issues or have get involved politically around the globe. Whether it be consciousness, money or advocacy celebrities are helping the cause of many associations.
Celebrities can call attention to an issue and stimulate some coverage, particularly outside North America, but they are clearly better used for fund-raising and even government relation than forgaining sustained media coverage. Journalists say a celebrity can usually provide the reason to cover something only once, in a superficial way. Celebrities pushing specific causes do attract media coverage, but celebrity-oriented coverage tends to be short-term. Celebrities in the politics for example can use their star power to get people voting like Will I Am who wrote a song for Obama!
No matter how helping they are, to my mind it is not the role of celebrities but the role of everybody. Although celebrities have much resources, money..than us, we must also help all the humanitarian and political issues. It is true we do not measure up with them, nevertheless it is very important that each of us contribute to help. So, this role is not especially celebrity, anonymous people too.
We know that some celebrities invest emotionally in any helping's form.In my opinion,all the celebrities do not help for the same reason and can not involve themselves because they are experts in the acting, singing..field and may not know anything about politics for example. Several are really close to the population, they want to pass on a message. However, celebrities can help to promote them.
Finally, celebrities can help if they really want!
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Modifié par bridg le 21-01-2009 17:13
titre distinctif
Message de jojok10 posté le 21-01-2009 à 17:11:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai une petite dissertation à faire en anglais et j'aimerais savoir si on peut me la corriger? J'ai essayé de faire le moins de fautes possibles, j'espère qu'une personne acceptera!
Voici mon texte:
Many celebrities have become active in raising awareness and funds for humanitarian issues or have get involved politically around the globe. Whether it be consciousness, money or advocacy celebrities are helping the cause of many associations.
Celebrities can call attention to an issue and stimulate some coverage, particularly outside North America, but they are clearly better used for fund-raising and even government relation than forgaining sustained media coverage. Journalists say a celebrity can usually provide the reason to cover something only once, in a superficial way. Celebrities pushing specific causes do attract media coverage, but celebrity-oriented coverage tends to be short-term. Celebrities in the politics for example can use their star power to get people voting like Will I Am who wrote a song for Obama!
No matter how helping they are, to my mind it is not the role of celebrities but the role of everybody. Although celebrities have much resources, money..than us, we must also help all the humanitarian and political issues. It is true we do not measure up with them, nevertheless it is very important that each of us contribute to help. So, this role is not especially celebrity, anonymous people too.
We know that some celebrities invest emotionally in any helping's form.In my opinion,all the celebrities do not help for the same reason and can not involve themselves because they are experts in the acting, singing..field and may not know anything about politics for example. Several are really close to the population, they want to pass on a message. However, celebrities can help to promote them.
Finally, celebrities can help if they really want!
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 21-01-2009 17:13
titre distinctif
Réponse: celebrities / correction de laure95, postée le 23-01-2009 à 11:48:38 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici les corrections à effectuer:
Many celebrities have become active in raising awareness and funds for humanitarian issues or have get (participe passé!) involved politically around the globe. Whether it be (verbe non conjugué!) consciousness, money or advocacy celebrities are helping the cause of many associations.
Celebrities can call attention to an issue (lequel ou laquelle?) and stimulate some coverage, particularly outside North America, but they are clearly better used for fund-raising and even government relation than forgaining sustained media coverage. Journalists say a celebrity can usually provide the reason to cover something only once, in a superficial way. Celebrities pushing specific causes do attract media coverage, but celebrity-oriented coverage tends to be short-term. Celebrities in the politics for example can use their star power to get people voting (infinitif) like Will I Am who wrote a song for Obama!
No matter how helping (ce n'est pas l'adjectif!) they are, to my mind it is not the role of celebrities but the role of everybody. Although celebrities have much (much + nom indénombrable, many + nom dénombrable) resources, money..than us, we must also help all the humanitarian and political issues. It is true we do not measure up with them, nevertheless it is very important that each of us contribute (sujet: each, donc singulier) to help. So, this role is not especially the celebrity's, anonymous people too. (but also the anonymous people's). We know that some celebrities invest emotionally in any helping's form.In my opinion,all the celebrities do not help for the same reason and can not involve themselves because they are expert
Finally, celebrities can help if they really want!
