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Expression écrite Fritzi
Message de alynia posté le 25-09-2009 à 22:26:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour voici le résumé d'un texte pouvez vous me corriger mes fautes?
Merci =)
Fritzi is a girl who wants to leave her home. She lives in Chicago in the early 20th century .
One day she decides to speak has her father.
Her father seems in a fine mood . He often drinks in a bar. She explains him her plans.
She wants to go to New York. She would like to be an actress in a theatre in Manhattan.
Her father is surprised, he never changed his expression.
He is not furious. He sees one positive point: his daughter told him.
Her father questions she. She explains him that some time ago she bought a railway ticket.
He is calm, but he is disagree : “it isn’t healthy for a girl your age to venture to New York for a career
in a dubious and risky profession. A career that might not exist at all .”
Fritzi is not agree her brother Carl went to Detroit for work, but for her father it’s a man it’s normal.
For her father New York is dangerous for a single woman, but Fritzi had considered.
Joe Crown had already think for his daughter. He wants the best for she . A home . Children.
But it’s not his life ! It’s the life of Fritzi !
Merci
Message de alynia posté le 25-09-2009 à 22:26:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour voici le résumé d'un texte pouvez vous me corriger mes fautes?
Merci =)
Fritzi is a girl who wants to leave her home. She lives in Chicago in the early 20th century .
One day she decides to speak has her father.
Her father seems in a fine mood . He often drinks in a bar. She explains him her plans.
She wants to go to New York. She would like to be an actress in a theatre in Manhattan.
Her father is surprised, he never changed his expression.
He is not furious. He sees one positive point: his daughter told him.
Her father questions she. She explains him that some time ago she bought a railway ticket.
He is calm, but he is disagree : “it isn’t healthy for a girl your age to venture to New York for a career
in a dubious and risky profession. A career that might not exist at all .”
Fritzi is not agree her brother Carl went to Detroit for work, but for her father it’s a man it’s normal.
For her father New York is dangerous for a single woman, but Fritzi had considered.
Joe Crown had already think for his daughter. He wants the best for she . A home . Children.
But it’s not his life ! It’s the life of Fritzi !
Merci
Réponse: Expression écrite Fritzi de laure95, postée le 26-09-2009 à 17:51:56 (S | E)
Bonsoir, voici ce que tu dois corriger,
Attention à la concordance des temps!
Temps du récit: prétérit.
Fritzi is a girl who wants to leave
One day she decides (prétérit)to speak has ? her father.
Her father seems (temps)in a fine mood . He often drinks in a bar. She explains (temps) him her plans.
She wants to go to New York. She would like to be an actress in a theatre in Manhattan.
Her father is (temps) surprised, he never changed his expression (pas le bon mot).
He is (temps) not furious. He sees (temps + chercher 1 verbe plus précis) one positive point: his daughter told him.
Her father questions (temps) she (il faut le pronom complément). She explains (temps) him that some time ago she had bought a railway ticket.
He is (temps) calm, but he is disagree (temps + ne pas être d'accord: to disagree sans be) : “it isn’t healthy for a girl of your age to venture to New York for a career
in a dubious and risky profession. A career that might not exist at all .”
Fritzi is not agree her brother Carl went to Detroit for work, but for her father it’s (he's) a man so it’s normal.
For her father New York is dangerous for a single woman, but Fritzi had considered. ? Joe Crown had already think (participe passé) for his daughter. He wants the best for she . A home . Children.
But it’s not his life ! It’s the life of Fritzi !
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