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E-mail/correction
Message de castillan2 posté le 01-11-2010 à 17:59:39 (S | E | F)
Hello everyone!
I've a quite long text to correct. Could somebody just take a look to see if that's ok or not
I just need to know the biggest mistakes...
Thank you for your time!
A) Form:
As the Emails - Tips & Language Functions PDF document says, when we send an e-mail to a superior or people outside of a company we have to use the formal form. In her mail she doesn’t seem using it.
For instance she uses “I’ll” and not” I will” or begin by the name of the teacher instead of “dear + the name”…
I fact I disagree with that… I think the forms depend of the localization… For instance when I was in Helsinki, we spoke with the teachers like friends… We never said Mister or something…
Content:
Firstly as I said above, she did not use a common introduction like “dear Mr xxx”
Secondly, she didn’t wrote any opening sentence like “thanks to answering or thanks for your e-mail…” Moreover she didn’t finish by a usual end as “Regards or thanks for your time,…”
If that was in the framework of a company it would be nice to finish by all the coordinates (phone / fax, adress,…)
B) Dear Mr xxx,
Thank you for your mail.
The proposed date this Thursday 17th June is perfect.
Could you please apologize me for the delay. As you can know I have a poor English and that took me too much time to do it.
If you agree, could I send my CV this evening and the letter of application with the job ad tomorrow before midday?
I received a mail from my home university asking me to send the exams results. Do you know when can I expect to get them?
Thank you very much for your time and your comprehension.
Regards,
Nxxxxx
Tel: xxxxx
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2010 18:12
anonymat
Fautes indiquées directement en rouge.
Message de castillan2 posté le 01-11-2010 à 17:59:39 (S | E | F)
Hello everyone!
I've a quite long text to correct. Could somebody just take a look to see if that's ok or not
I just need to know the biggest mistakes...
Thank you for your time!
A) Form:
As the Emails - Tips & Language Functions PDF document says, when we send an e-mail to a superior or people outside of a company we have to use the formal form. In her mail she doesn’t seem using it.
For instance she uses “I’ll” and not” I will” or begin by the name of the teacher instead of “dear + the name”…
I fact I disagree with that… I think the forms depend of the localization… For instance when I was in Helsinki, we spoke with the teachers like friends… We never said Mister or something…
Content:
Firstly as I said above, she did not use a common introduction like “dear Mr xxx”
Secondly, she didn’t wrote any opening sentence like “thanks to answering or thanks for your e-mail…” Moreover she didn’t finish by a usual end as “Regards or thanks for your time,…”
If that was in the framework of a company it would be nice to finish by all the coordinates (phone / fax, adress,…)
B) Dear Mr xxx,
Thank you for your mail.
The proposed date this Thursday 17th June is perfect.
Could you please apologize me for the delay. As you can know I have a poor English and that took me too much time to do it.
If you agree, could I send my CV this evening and the letter of application with the job ad tomorrow before midday?
I received a mail from my home university asking me to send the exams results. Do you know when can I expect to get them?
Thank you very much for your time and your comprehension.
Regards,
Nxxxxx
Tel: xxxxx
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2010 18:12
anonymat
Fautes indiquées directement en rouge.
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