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Anglais, expression
Message de aufo posté le 01-12-2010 à 21:47:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai une expression à rédiger en anglais, et je voudrais avoir votre avis sur la chose s'il vous plaît ! Merci beaucoup
Le sujet est : Si un jour tu découvres que tu as un oncle aux Etats Unis qui veut que tu le rejoignes, comment réagis tu ? Est ce que l'amérique est un rêve pour toi ?
I would be frightened to have to leave my family suddenly, and to live with somebody of whom I know nothing. I believe that even if he had a work for me, with a high salary, I would refuse. Certainly, I would have a better way of life, and I could even help my family to live better, nevertheless, I can't see my life without them.
Furthermore, it is true that United States are a very attractive country, because they welcome the " new brains ", and because it is a young and dynamic country, what it is good for a young student like me. That's why I would hesitate anyway before giving my answer to this unknown uncle.
Then, I think that I am too young to live this adventure, United States don't attract me a lot, I don't like the lifestyle of the Americans: too much unhealthy food, too many superflows. According to me, they are too selfish and centred on their own success.
Finally, I don't feel ready to leave my native country for a country which doesn't please me a lot, I am not ready to leave my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my daily life, to live with a stranger, in a country of which I know nothing. The American life is not a dream for me.
Message de aufo posté le 01-12-2010 à 21:47:31 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai une expression à rédiger en anglais, et je voudrais avoir votre avis sur la chose s'il vous plaît ! Merci beaucoup
Le sujet est : Si un jour tu découvres que tu as un oncle aux Etats Unis qui veut que tu le rejoignes, comment réagis tu ? Est ce que l'amérique est un rêve pour toi ?
I would be frightened to have to leave my family suddenly, and to live with somebody of whom I know nothing. I believe that even if he had a work for me, with a high salary, I would refuse. Certainly, I would have a better way of life, and I could even help my family to live better, nevertheless, I can't see my life without them.
Furthermore, it is true that United States are a very attractive country, because they welcome the " new brains ", and because it is a young and dynamic country, what it is good for a young student like me. That's why I would hesitate anyway before giving my answer to this unknown uncle.
Then, I think that I am too young to live this adventure, United States don't attract me a lot, I don't like the lifestyle of the Americans: too much unhealthy food, too many superflows. According to me, they are too selfish and centred on their own success.
Finally, I don't feel ready to leave my native country for a country which doesn't please me a lot, I am not ready to leave my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my daily life, to live with a stranger, in a country of which I know nothing. The American life is not a dream for me.
Réponse: Anglais, expression de gerondif, postée le 01-12-2010 à 22:36:22 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
votre anglais a l'air solide.
vert: corrections offertes; bleu: à corriger
I would be frightened to have to leave my family suddenly, and to live with somebody of whom (très bien même si c'est presque obsolète)I know nothing. I believe that even if he had a work (plutôt a job ou alors some work)for me, with a high salary, I would refuse. Certainly, I would have a better way of life, and I could even help my family to live better, nevertheless, I can't see(picture) my life without them.
Furthermore, it is true that the(devant les pays pluriels!!) United States are a very attractive country, because they welcome the " new brains ", and because it is a young and dynamic country, what it (it est en trop, et ce n'est pas what qu'il faut employer)is good for a young student like me. That's why I would hesitate anyway before giving my answer to this unknown uncle.
Then, I think that I am too young to live this adventure, *** United States don't attract me a lot, I don't like the lifestyle of the Americans: too much unhealthy food, too many superflows (doit signifier des super flux dans la science des fluides). According to me, they are too selfish and centred on their own successes.(c'est un peu du mot-à-mot)
Finally, I don't feel ready to leave my native country for a country which doesn't please(ce verbe me parait mal employé essayez to appeal to) me a lot, I am not ready to leave my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my daily life, to live with a stranger, in a country of which I know nothing ("completely unknown to me" pourrait aller aussi et vous éviter ce "of which" fort correct mais un peu lourd). The American life is not a dream for me.
Réponse: Anglais, expression de notrepere, postée le 01-12-2010 à 23:04:46 (S | E)
Hello,Well, as a selfish American, I wish to offer you the following tips:
"frightened to have to leave" est un peu lourd
I would be frightened of having to leave est plus courant.
Aussi, si on parle des Etats-Unis comme un pays, on met le sujet au singulier:
Furthermore, it is true that the United States
"According to me" ce n'est pas naturel au début d'une phrase. "In my opinion" = plus courant.
Réponse: Anglais, expression de taconnet, postée le 02-12-2010 à 08:40:03 (S | E)
Bonjour.
Juste une remarque.
The United States
The United States
Lien Internet
Réponse: Anglais, expression de aufo, postée le 02-12-2010 à 17:03:52 (S | E)
Hello !
Tout d'abord, merci pour vos réponses et votre aide, et désolée si j'ai froissé quelques lecteurs américains, ce n'était pas le but !
Gérondif : Pour "what it", je pense que je peux écrire "which" plutôt, c'est sûrement plus correct, non ?
Notrepère : vraiment désolée, j'ai écrit cela d'après ce que nous voyons en cours, et surtout pour étoffer un peu mon expression. Merci pour tes corrections, c'est noté.
Taconnet : c'est noté, après "The United States", le verbe est à la troisième personne du singulier, je vais tâcher de m'en souvenir !
J'ai ajouté une partie à mon expression, car je la trouvais trop courte :
Nevertheless, if he had proposed to me a travel to the USA, I would accept if it wasn't during a long time. I would be agree to leave my daily life during a month, no more, because of my habits, my family.. I would be ready to discover this country to erase my prejudices and have a new opinion about the Americans, but not to stay a long time.
Encore merci pour votre aide !
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