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Correction/Chinese Cinderella
Message de drana84 posté le 19-02-2011 à 21:04:24 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody !
J'ai besoin de votre aide : j'ai fait un résumé du livre "Chinese Cinderella" écrit par Adeline Yen Mah et je voulais savoir ce que vous en pensiez, mais surtout qu'est-ce que je pourrai faire pour l'améliorer.
Merci de me consacrer un peu de votre temps, je compte sur vous
!
Neglected by her father, hated by her siblings and beaten by her stepmother, Adeline Yen Mah recalls the worst period of her life, her childhood, in one of the most moving story. Born in Tianjin, in China, during the Second World War, this little Chinese Cinderella of the twentieth century was rejected by her family and was considered bad luck because her mother died giving her birth. Successively losing her irreplaceable grandparents and her dear Aunt Baba, she is permanently struggling for acceptance and to draw her father's attention. This story tells us about all the unfair things that she had to overcome and how she found her place in her family. In a world of suffering and pain, she has kept the faith . And that's what she wants to tell us, that there is always a hope in any situation, that we just have to keep going and never give up....
J'attends vos réponses avec impatience ! A bientôt !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2011 21:12
Message de drana84 posté le 19-02-2011 à 21:04:24 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody !
J'ai besoin de votre aide : j'ai fait un résumé du livre "Chinese Cinderella" écrit par Adeline Yen Mah et je voulais savoir ce que vous en pensiez, mais surtout qu'est-ce que je pourrai faire pour l'améliorer.
Merci de me consacrer un peu de votre temps, je compte sur vous
!Neglected by her father, hated by her siblings and beaten by her stepmother, Adeline Yen Mah recalls the worst period of her life, her childhood, in one of the most moving story. Born in Tianjin, in China, during the Second World War, this little Chinese Cinderella of the twentieth century was rejected by her family and was considered bad luck because her mother died giving her birth. Successively losing her irreplaceable grandparents and her dear Aunt Baba, she is permanently struggling for acceptance and to draw her father's attention. This story tells us about all the unfair things that she had to overcome and how she found her place in her family. In a world of suffering and pain, she has kept the faith . And that's what she wants to tell us, that there is always a hope in any situation, that we just have to keep going and never give up....
J'attends vos réponses avec impatience ! A bientôt !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-02-2011 21:12
Réponse: Correction/Chinese Cinderella de dsmith, postée le 20-02-2011 à 00:34:28 (S | E)
Bonjour
...one of the most moving story. One of - story must be plural.
... she is permanently struggling... (should be past tense, not present tense)
she has kept the faith. This sounds religious. she never lost hope ??
...there is always a hope... remove "a"
Très bien écrit!! congratulations.
Réponse: Correction/Chinese Cinderella de drana84, postée le 20-02-2011 à 10:45:26 (S | E)
Bonjour !
Merci beaucoup dsmith , c'est très gentil d'avoir corrigé mon texte !
Encore mille fois merci, au revoir !
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