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Correction/texte personnel
Message de black8 posté le 30-05-2011 à 12:33:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous me dire s'il vous plaît s'il y a des fautes dans le texte que je vais écrire ci-dessous,je l'ai écrit moi-même:
If the horses could spent their day galloping in the herd. Than the sun would always be there.
If the sounds of cars would dissapear,the Earth wouldn't die.
Humans are sort of awful animals who think they are better.These changes that we make to the world
are like black becoming white.
Only one tear from a animal makes me cry, and the lights would come away from me. Adjust your
world, selfish and mean, it is what you are.Selfish. Even the sky is crying, his tears are coming
down to the Earth crust. The sun doens't always shine, because some beautiful and fantastic birds
were killed, for decoration or to be eatten.
Dear everybody,make this world better in exchange of me..Oh dear...I'd rather like to see wild
animals than looking at pigs beeing transported to be cooked.Oh dear...
I am the loneless of the world and this magical painting who saved several lives.Oh dear...
Merci pour vos réponses.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2011 13:24
Message de black8 posté le 30-05-2011 à 12:33:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pourriez-vous me dire s'il vous plaît s'il y a des fautes dans le texte que je vais écrire ci-dessous,je l'ai écrit moi-même:
If the horses could spent their day galloping in the herd. Than the sun would always be there.
If the sounds of cars would dissapear,the Earth wouldn't die.
Humans are sort of awful animals who think they are better.These changes that we make to the world
are like black becoming white.
Only one tear from a animal makes me cry, and the lights would come away from me. Adjust your
world, selfish and mean, it is what you are.Selfish. Even the sky is crying, his tears are coming
down to the Earth crust. The sun doens't always shine, because some beautiful and fantastic birds
were killed, for decoration or to be eatten.
Dear everybody,make this world better in exchange of me..Oh dear...I'd rather like to see wild
animals than looking at pigs beeing transported to be cooked.Oh dear...
I am the loneless of the world and this magical painting who saved several lives.Oh dear...
Merci pour vos réponses.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-05-2011 13:24
Réponse: Correction/texte personnel de dsmith, postée le 30-05-2011 à 16:02:55 (S | E)
Hello - here are some corrections and I identified some mistakes.
If the horses could spent (misspelled) their day galloping in the herd. Than (misspelled) the sun would always be there.
If the sounds of cars would dissapear,the Earth wouldn't die.
Humans are sort of awful animals who think they are better.These changes that we make to the world
are like black becoming white.
Only one tear from an animal makes me cry, and the lights would come away from me. Adjust your
world, selfish and mean, it is what you are. Selfish. Even the sky is crying, his tears are coming
down to the Earth's crust. The sun doens't always shine, because some beautiful and fantastic birds
were killed, for decoration or to be eatten (misspelled).
Dear everybody,make this world better in exchange of me (I don't understand this)..Oh dear...I'd rather like to see wild
animals than looking at pigs beeing (misspelled) transported to be cooked.Oh dear...
I am the loneless (misspelled) of the world and this magical painting which saved several lives.Oh dear...
Réponse: Correction/texte personnel de notrepere, postée le 30-05-2011 à 16:10:46 (S | E)
HelloIf the sounds of cars would disappear
Réponse: Correction/texte personnel de may, postée le 30-05-2011 à 16:26:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
If the sounds of cars would disappear...
I don't think Would need to be here in the If clause, so...
Humans are sort of awful animals who think they are better.These changes that we make to the world
I would suggest Creatures instead of Animals.....they are better than..(comparison with what or whom???), so they're the best, I think.
...are like black becoming white.
turning is better than becoming????
Very thoughtful then!
Happy Monday.
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Modifié par may le 30-05-2011 16:26
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