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Texte/correction
Message de aa127 posté le 28-08-2011 à 13:38:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'avais une photo à décrire et j'aimerais savoir si dans ce texte il y a des erreurs, ou des contresens, savoir si le texte est correct et compréhensif ?
"This document is a photo which has been taken in winter, probably in December, in the city of Paris. The scene is particularly dark; it must take place at dead of night, even if some streetlights contrast with the darkness of the place. In this photo, on the right, we can see some cars parked along the sidewalk; in the top left-hand corner, there is a hotel that is well lit; short of the building, out in the cold, in the middle of the night, probably with a freezing weather and an icy wind, we can see two women wearing winter clothes. At the feet of these women, directly on the ground of the sidewalk, there is a man in bad shape. According to me, this man is sleeping right here because he has nowhere to go. I think that, usually, he would have been ignored by the “plain people”, but in this photo, the two women give attention to this unknown man, they are looking at him with a sad expression and they probably want him to get a fixed abode."
Merci.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-08-2011 17:55
titre
Message de aa127 posté le 28-08-2011 à 13:38:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'avais une photo à décrire et j'aimerais savoir si dans ce texte il y a des erreurs, ou des contresens, savoir si le texte est correct et compréhensif ?
"This document is a photo which has been taken in winter, probably in December, in the city of Paris. The scene is particularly dark; it must take place at dead of night, even if some streetlights contrast with the darkness of the place. In this photo, on the right, we can see some cars parked along the sidewalk; in the top left-hand corner, there is a hotel that is well lit; short of the building, out in the cold, in the middle of the night, probably with a freezing weather and an icy wind, we can see two women wearing winter clothes. At the feet of these women, directly on the ground of the sidewalk, there is a man in bad shape. According to me, this man is sleeping right here because he has nowhere to go. I think that, usually, he would have been ignored by the “plain people”, but in this photo, the two women give attention to this unknown man, they are looking at him with a sad expression and they probably want him to get a fixed abode."
Merci.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-08-2011 17:55
titre
Réponse: Texte/correction de silky, postée le 28-08-2011 à 14:32:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici quelques fautes à corriger.
1.Has been taken … temps ! Moment préçis terminé : in winter
2.On met généralement le complément de temps avant le complément de lieu
Petit truc : MA PLA TI = Manner Place Time
3.It must take…temps! (doit avoir été prise)
4.There is a man qui est in bad shape
5.According to = selon OK mais jamais according to me.Utiliser to my mind, in my opinion, I think ou (more formal!) as far as I am concerned, I think…
6.Changer “plain people” et “ give attention to"
7."Of no fixed abode" (or address) est une expression fixe négative mais ici pourquoi ne pas dire “avoir un toit » (dictionnaire)
Best wishes
Réponse: Texte/correction de sherry48, postée le 28-08-2011 à 17:17:44 (S | E)
Hello aa127.
Since weather is a non-count noun,in the phrase, probably with a freezing weather, I would not use an indefinite article.
In this phrase...the two women pay close attention, I would not use present tense, since it is not a habitual action, but action happening right now.
I hope this helps.
Sherry
Réponse: Texte/correction de notrepere, postée le 28-08-2011 à 17:28:15 (S | E)
Hello"This document is a photo which was taken in winter, probably in December, in the city of Paris. The scene is particularly dark; it must take place at dead of night (1), even if some streetlights (2) contrast with the darkness of the place. In this photo, on the right, we can see some cars parked along the sidewalk (3); in the top left-hand corner, there is a hotel that is well lit; short of the building, out in the cold, in the middle of the night, probably in a freezing weather (4) and an icy wind, we can see two women wearing winter clothes. At the feet of these women, directly on the ground of the sidewalk (5), there is a man who is in bad shape. In my opinion, this man is sleeping right here because he has nowhere to go. I think that, usually, he would have been ignored by the “ordinary people”, but in this photo, the two women pay close attention to this unknown man. They are looking at him with a sad expression and they probably want him to have a roof over his head."
(1) L'expression précise est "in the dead of night"
Lien Internet
(2) deux mots en
(3) sidewalk
pavement (4) no article before "freezing"
(5) on peut dire: on the pavement
Réponse: Texte/correction de notrepere, postée le 28-08-2011 à 17:41:28 (S | E)
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