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Concordance temps/aide
Message de sharq001 posté le 07-03-2012 à 17:11:08 (S | E | F)
Salut Bonjour, 
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît car j'ai une rédaction à faire et je l'ai terminée; seulement je pense qu'il y a plein de fautes, surtout des fautes de concordance des temps là où j'ai beaucoup de problèmes...
Bref voici une rédaction sur le thème histoires invraisemblables.
Merci pour vos réponses.
I went to the ocean museum of the city with all my family and it was fun, I take a lot of photos but I was interested by visiting the animal department. I saw many fishes and I saw sharks for the first time. When I was exiting the museum I see a giant creature, it was an octopus. At first sight I was effred and after I was amazed by the size of the animal, I approach the creature and it catch me and take me to the pool. It grip me strongly and I faint… I wake up in a desertic hospital where they was only one doctor, he was very strange… He says that he must open my head if I wouldn’t die. I say no but he insist so I don’t answer anything and wait that he leaves. When he leaves I take my phone and call the police. 5 minutes after, the police arrive, shoot the “doctor” and save me, they take me back to my home… I open the door when I see that my home was empty, there was nothing, no bed, no kitchen… Anything, the robbers let anything… I was scarred, my home was like an abandoned house… I go in the corner of my home and sleep. I wake up at ten a.m, there was every furnitures, as if nothing happened and I run throught the city, I arrive to school a bit late and when I explain why I was late the teacher doesn’t believe in me so thanks to the octopus I don’t go to school today.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2012 17:17
Message de sharq001 posté le 07-03-2012 à 17:11:08 (S | E | F)
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît car j'ai une rédaction à faire et je l'ai terminée; seulement je pense qu'il y a plein de fautes, surtout des fautes de concordance des temps là où j'ai beaucoup de problèmes...
Bref voici une rédaction sur le thème histoires invraisemblables.
Merci pour vos réponses.
I went to the ocean museum of the city with all my family and it was fun, I take a lot of photos but I was interested by visiting the animal department. I saw many fishes and I saw sharks for the first time. When I was exiting the museum I see a giant creature, it was an octopus. At first sight I was effred and after I was amazed by the size of the animal, I approach the creature and it catch me and take me to the pool. It grip me strongly and I faint… I wake up in a desertic hospital where they was only one doctor, he was very strange… He says that he must open my head if I wouldn’t die. I say no but he insist so I don’t answer anything and wait that he leaves. When he leaves I take my phone and call the police. 5 minutes after, the police arrive, shoot the “doctor” and save me, they take me back to my home… I open the door when I see that my home was empty, there was nothing, no bed, no kitchen… Anything, the robbers let anything… I was scarred, my home was like an abandoned house… I go in the corner of my home and sleep. I wake up at ten a.m, there was every furnitures, as if nothing happened and I run throught the city, I arrive to school a bit late and when I explain why I was late the teacher doesn’t believe in me so thanks to the octopus I don’t go to school today.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2012 17:17
Réponse: Concordance temps/aide de nicolas97, postée le 07-03-2012 à 17:53:12 (S | E)
Bonjour,
en effet, tu as fait énormément d'erreurs sur le temps des verbes : si c'est bien un récit au prétérit, alors tu as oublié de conjuguer la majorité des verbes!
Comme "take", "catch", "see", "approach", etc.Relis bien attentivement ton récit ( passionnant
) en t’arrêtant sur chacun des verbes en les conjuguant au PRETERIT et non au présent, tu as mélangé les deux. Voilà!
Réponse: Concordance temps/aide de sharq001, postée le 07-03-2012 à 18:38:46 (S | E)
Voilà j'ai mis au passé, pouvez-vous me dire s'il vous plait s'il y a des fautes et si oui lesquelles ???
I went to Manchester’s ocean museum with all my family and it was fun, I took a lot of photos but I was interested by visiting the animal department. I saw many fishes and I saw sharks for the first time, they had big teeth, I didn’t want to be their meal ... When I was exiting the museum I see a giant creature, it was an octopus. At first sight I was effred and after I was amazed by the size of the animal, I approach the creature and it catch me and take me to the pool. It grip so strongly that I faint… I wake up in a desertic hospital where they was only one doctor, he was very strange… He said that he must open my head if I wouldn’t die. I said no but he insisted so I didn’t answer anything and wait that he leaved. When he leaved I took my phone and called the police. 5 minutes after, the police arrived, shot the “doctor” and saved me, they took me back to my home… I opened the door when I saw that my home was empty, there was nothing, no bed, no kitchen… Anything, the robbers let anything… I was scarred, my home was like an abandoned house… I went in the corner of my home I cried and slept. I wake up at ten a.m, there was every furnitures, as if nothing happened, and I ran throught the city, I arrived to school a bit late and when I explain why I was late the teacher doesn’t believe in me so, thanks to the octopus I don’t go to school today. My arm was hurting , and when I looked ,I saw that I got traces of the octopus's grip on the arm.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-03-2012 21:19
Réponse: Concordance temps/aide de alienor64, postée le 07-03-2012 à 19:17:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir Sharq001
Nicolas vous a signalé les erreurs de temps . Il y en a quelques autres ! Un angliciste serait le bienvenu pour compléter ces corrections ....
" I went to the ocean museum of the city with all my family and it was fun, I take
a lot of photos but I was interested by ( to be interested in ...) visiting the animal il n'y avait pas qu'un animal ! ) department. I saw many fishes and I saw sharks for the first time. When I was exiting leaving ) the museum I see a giant creature, it was an octopus. At first sight I was effred orthographe ) and after I was amazed by the size of the animal, I approach the creature and it catch me and take me to the pool. It grip me strongly voir place de l'adverbe ) and I faint… I wake up in a desertic hospital where they( there ) was only one doctor, he was very strange… He says that he must( mettre un forme équivalente au passé , " must" n'existe qu'au présent ) open my head if I wouldn’t die. I say no but he insist so I don’t answer anything and wait ( " to wait for somebody to do something " ) that he leaves. When he leaves I take my phone and call the police. 5 minutes after, the police arrive, shoot the “doctor” and save me, they take me back to my home… I open the door when I see that my home was empty, there was nothing, no bed, no kitchen… Anything
, the robbers let anything… I was scarred, my home was like an abandoned house… I go in the corner( mal dit ) of my home and sleep. I wake up at ten a.m, there was every furnitures ( " furniture" ( au singulier ) = les meubles ), as if nothing happened and I run throught the city, I arrive to school a bit late and when I explain why I was late the teacher doesn’t believe in ( " believe me " ) ) me so thanks to the octopus I don’t go to school today. " .Bonne soirée !
Réponse: Concordance temps/aide de violet91, postée le 07-03-2012 à 20:35:49 (S | E)
Hello,
I went to Manchester’s ocean museum with all my family and it was fun, I took a lot of photos but I was interested by( autre prép.) visiting the animal department. I saw many fishes and I saw sharks for the first time, they had big teeth, I didn’t want to be their meal ... When I was exiting( to leave) the museum I see(past) a giant creature, it was an octopus. At first sight I was effred( orth) and after (complete with ' that') ,I was amazed by the size of the animal, I approach (past)the creature and it catch(past) me and take(past) me to (into) the pool. It grip( tense; grasp , plutôt) so strongly that I faint(past)… I wake up in a desertic (ed) hospital where they was only one doctor, he (relatif )was very strange… He said that he must ( to have to au past) open my head if I wouldn’t die( not to want , past). I said no (I did not) but he insisted ;so I didn’t answer anything and wait (past) that( conj.until) he leaved(irregular past). When he leaved I took my phone and called the police. 5 minutes after (later), the police arrived, shot the “doctor” and saved me, they took(drive au past) me back (to my) home… I opened the door when I saw that my home was empty, there was nothing, no bed, no kitchen… Anything, the robbers let anything…(no...) I was scarred (orth), my home was like an abandoned house… I went in( prep.mouvement) the corner of my home
I cried and slept. I wake up at ten a.m, there was every( all the) furnitures, as if nothing X ( aux.have au past)happened, and I ran throught(orth) the city, I arrived to(at) school a bit(little , plus élégant) late and when I explain(past)the reason why I was late, the teacher doesn’t(past) believe in(inutile) me so, thanks to the octopus I don’t(past) go to school today. My arm was hurting , and when I looked ( at it),I saw that I X (omission :aux have au past)got traces of the octopus's grip on the(adj.poss.) arm.Ce sera bien et courageux !!...
Franchement , le professeur pourra saluer la qualité de l'imagination!
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