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Correction/assistance
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basCorrection/assistance
Message de petitsbeurreslu posté le 05-11-2012 à 10:52:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai une rédaction à rendre pour cette semaine en anglais, est-ce que vous pouvez corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
I want to talk about the development assistance to developing countries.
I think we can improve the way we help them.
For decades, some international organizations as the United Nations Organization give a lot of money to those countries which have some difficulties to developt.
But, in these days, some people have questioned this way of helping.
Firstly, these people think this approach/procedure will not solve the question of the development. To us, this aid will bring the opposite result of its goal. Developing countries will become dependent of this aid and this one will not help them at all.
In addition, a part of these financial aids goes into the pockets of dictators.
Moreover, an other problem can be putting. Some economists say that if developing countries opens to the market economy, they will become prosperous. But in this economic system, the local producers are losers because the concurrence is too strong. So, This system has some weaknesses.
I think that solutions can be made/brought. For example, give subsidies to local producers could be a good idea, it will help them. Also, We can give aids only if we are sure that these countries will use it for their development, and not for anything else.
I choice this subject because I think it’s very topical. In addition, many lives are at stake, and that’s why we have to care about it.
Merci!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-11-2012 23:45
Message de petitsbeurreslu posté le 05-11-2012 à 10:52:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
J'ai une rédaction à rendre pour cette semaine en anglais, est-ce que vous pouvez corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît?
I want to talk about the development assistance to developing countries.
I think we can improve the way we help them.
For decades, some international organizations as the United Nations Organization give a lot of money to those countries which have some difficulties to developt.
But, in these days, some people have questioned this way of helping.
Firstly, these people think this approach/procedure will not solve the question of the development. To us, this aid will bring the opposite result of its goal. Developing countries will become dependent of this aid and this one will not help them at all.
In addition, a part of these financial aids goes into the pockets of dictators.
Moreover, an other problem can be putting. Some economists say that if developing countries opens to the market economy, they will become prosperous. But in this economic system, the local producers are losers because the concurrence is too strong. So, This system has some weaknesses.
I think that solutions can be made/brought. For example, give subsidies to local producers could be a good idea, it will help them. Also, We can give aids only if we are sure that these countries will use it for their development, and not for anything else.
I choice this subject because I think it’s very topical. In addition, many lives are at stake, and that’s why we have to care about it.
Merci!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-11-2012 23:45
Réponse: Correction/assistance de petitsbeurreslu, postée le 06-11-2012 à 12:42:01 (S | E)
Est-ce que quelqu'un peut m'aider?
Réponse: Correction/assistance de bluestar, postée le 06-11-2012 à 13:15:24 (S | E)
I want to talk about the development assistance to developing countries.(pas 'develop' deux fois) I think we can improve the way we help them.
For decades, some international organizations such as the United Nations Organization give (temps) a lot of money to those countries which have some development difficulties to developt.
But, in these days, some people have questioned this way of helping.
Firstly, these people think this approach/procedure will not solve the question of the development. To us, this aid will bring the opposite result of its goal to the one intended. Developing countries will become dependent of this aid and this one will not help them at all.
In addition, a part of these
(singulier pas pluriel) financial aids goes into the pockets of dictators.Moreover, an other(another, un mot) problem can be putting seen. Some economists say that if developing countries opens to adopt the market economy, they will become prosperous. But in this economic system, the local producers are losers because the concurrence is too strong
. So, tThis system has some weaknesses.I think that solutions can be made/brought found. For example, give
subsidies to local producers could be a good idea, it will help them. Also, Wwe can give aids only if we are sure that these countries will use it for their development, and not for anything else.I choice
this subject because I think it’s very topical. In addition, many lives are at stake, and that’s why we have to care about it.-------------------
Modifié par bluestar le 06-11-2012 13:16
Réponse: Correction/assistance de petitsbeurreslu, postée le 06-11-2012 à 14:14:01 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup!
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